#I think this is the final plan for TD | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

021894s · 11 months ago

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— 28 betrayal, hurt…reconciliation [3.9k w]

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PAIRING: brothers bsf! sunghoon x f!reader

WARNINGS: hurt, betrayal, language

AUTHORS NOTE: I tried surprising you guys by not telling you I was posting td hehe, enjoy <3

how could this have happened? he analyzes the photos closely, his heart sinking as he sees the images of you and Sunghoon, his best friend? his little sister? with their lips locked in a kiss?what the actual fuck. The betrayal cuts deep, and fury courses through his veins, each beat of his heart pounding louder in his ears.

The phone slips from his grasp, clattering onto the table as he scramble for his car keys. There's no time to think, no time to process what he’s just seen. The only thing that matters is getting to your house. he doesn’t care about the speed limit, the world outside blurring into a haze as he presses the pedal to the floor.

his mind races faster than the car, a torrent of emotions threatening to drown him. Anger, hurt, and a desperate need for answers fuel his reckless drive. As he approached your house, he barely registers the screech of tires against asphalt. All he knows is that you need to be confronted, to understand why you two did this to him.

Saerom was lounging on the couch, flipping through the endless arrays of movies and dramas that failed to catch her eye, when a loud, insistent knock echoed through the house. She frowned, setting the magazine aside and heading toward the door. when she opened it, she was met with Heeseung’s intense gaze and furrowed brows.

"Heeseung, hey—" she began, a bit taken aback by his agitated demeanor.

“Y/N here?” he cut her off abruptly, not waiting for an answer as he brushed past her and stormed into the house.

“Heeseung, wait—” Saerom tried to protest, but he was already making his way to your room, his footsteps heavy with urgency.

Heeseung didn’t bother knocking. He threw the door open, and there, in a tangle of blankets, were you and Sunghoon, your head nestled against his chest as he mindlessly scrolled on his phone.

“Un fucking believable,” Heeseung spat, his voice laced with betrayal.

you and Sunghoon scrambled to sit up, shock written across your faces. Sunghoon’s eyes widened, and your mouth opened and closed, searching for words.

“Heeseung, I—” you started, but the intensity of his glare silenced you.

“How long has this been going on?” Heeseung demanded, his voice trembling with anger and hurt.

you and Sunghoon exchanged a nervous glance, each silently pleading for the other to say something. Heeseung’s patience snapped.

“fucking answer me!” he bellowed, his voice echoing through the room.

Sunghoon swallowed hard, his voice barely a whisper as he stammered, “T-technically since Japan.”

Heeseung’s eyes widened with fury, his fists clenching at his sides. “are you fucking kidding me? I trust you to accompany my sister and in turn you start sleeping with her?? what the fuck sunghoon?!”

your eyes filled with tears as you finally found your voice. “We were gonna tell you, I promise.”

Heeseung scoffed, his anger unrelenting. “Before or after you got caught?”

you took a deep breath, trying to steady your trembling hands. “Heeseung, you have to understand, it wasn’t like we planned this to hurt you. We were just scared of how you’d react.”

Heeseung’s jaw tightened, his eyes narrowing. “Scared of how I’d react? You’re my sister and sunghoon is supposed to be my best friend! How did you think I’d react?”

Sunghoon finally mustered the courage to step forward. “Heeseung, we didn’t mean for it to happen this way. We just… we care about each other.”

The sight of Sunghoon’s face seemed to ignite something in Heeseung. Without warning, he swung his fist, connecting with Sunghoon’s jaw.

Sunghoon staggered back, clutching his face, his eyes wide with shock and pain. “Heeseung, I—”

Heeseung didn’t let him finish. “You fucking asshole” he yelled, his voice breaking. “You were supposed to be there for her not fall for her”

you stepped in front of him. “Heeseung, please! Let’s talk this out. just please don’t hurt him!” you plead, your voice breaking.

the tension in the room reached its peak, the sound of a door creaking open echoed down the hall. Jake, who had been in the restroom, heard the commotion and rushed towards your room. He burst in just as Heeseung was about to throw another punch at Sunghoon.

“Hey hey hey, stop it!” Jake shouted, grabbing Heeseung’s arm and pulling him back.

Heeseung struggled against Jake’s hold, his fury not yet abated. “Jake, let me fucking go. He deserves this!”

Jake tightened his grip, stepping between Heeseung and Sunghoon. “Enough, Heeseung! This isn’t going to solve anything.”

Heeseung glared at Jake, his eyes filled with betrayal. “You knew, didn’t you? You knew this whole time and didn’t think to tell me?”

Jake looked pained, but he held his ground. “It wasn’t my secret to tell, Heeseung. I wanted to, but it wasn’t my place.”

Heeseung’s anger flared again, though this time it was mixed with hurt. “So you just let them lie to me? Let them sneak around behind my back?”

Jake shook his head. “I didn’t let them do anything. I told them they needed to tell you, but it was their decision to make.”

still standing between the boys, you looked at Heeseung with tear-filled eyes. “Heeseung, please. Jake didn’t do anything wrong. This is on us.”

Heeseung looked between you, Sunghoon, and Jake, his emotions a whirlwind. Finally, he took a step back, his shoulders slumping. “I don’t know who I can trust anymore.”

Jake released Heeseung’s arm, his expression filled with sympathy. “You can trust that we all care about you. We just didn’t handle things the right way.”

Heeseung rubbed his temples, the weight of everything pressing down on him. “I can’t even look at you right now.”

tears are streaming down your face, looking at Heeseung with desperation. “Heeseung… I love him.”

Heeseung paused, his eyes filling with more pain. He turned to look at you, his expression a mixture of hurt and concern. "He’s going to hurt you," he said, his voice trembling.

you shook her head, her heart aching. "No, Heeseung, he won't."

Heeseung’s eyes brimmed with tears. "How can you be so sure? You’ve been sneaking around, lying to me. How can you trust him after all this?"

you took a step closer, pleading with him. "Because I know him. And I know this is hard for you to believe right now, but he makes me happy."

Heeseung looked at you, the pain in his eyes evident. "I just want to protect you. I don’t want to see you get hurt."

your voice softened, filled with love and determination. "I know, Heeseung. And I appreciate that. But I need you to trust me on this. Please."

Heeseung swallowed hard, the tears finally spilling over. "I don’t know if I can. Not right now."

you nodded, your own tears flowing freely. "Take your time. But please, believe me when I say we didn’t mean to hurt you. We love you."

Heeseung looked away, wiping his eyes. "I love you too, y/n. That's why this hurts so much." he looks over to sunghoon, “don’t bother coming home, you’re out.”

With that, he turned and walked out of the room, leaving you standing there, your heart breaking for your brother, and it was no one’s fault but your own.

your world had become a shadow of its former self. The weight of Heeseung's hurt and disappointment bore down on your shoulders like a crushing burden. Days passed in a haze of misery. you found yourself withdrawing from everything you once enjoyed, your appetite dwindling, and even the thought of attending classes seemed unbearable.

your best friends noticed the change immediately. Saerom, who had always been your confidante, approached you gently one afternoon.

"y/n please talk to me," Saerom pleaded, sitting beside you on the bed where you had been listlessly staring at nothing in particular.

you blinked back tears, your voice barely above a whisper. "I can't, Saerom. I've messed everything up. I hurt Heeseung so much."

Saerom wrapped her arms around you, holding you close. "You didn’t mean to hurt him, baby. Sometimes things just happen."

you shook her head, her tears flowing freely now. "But I did hurt him. I betrayed his trust. And now he won’t even talk to me."

she rubbed your back soothingly, feeling utterly helpless. "Give him time, y/n . He loves you. He’ll come around."

you pulled away,eyes filled with despair. "I don’t know if he ever will. And even if he does, how can things ever be the same?"

Saerom’s heart broke for you. "I wish I had the answers. Just know that I’m here for you, no matter what."

you nodded weakly, appreciating Saerom’s support even as the ache in your heart persisted. youfelt lost, adrift in a sea of guilt and sorrow, unable to find solace in anything, not even in the presence of your closest friends.

A week had passed since the tumultuous confrontation in your room. Heeseung found himself in the university library, an unusual place for him on a quiet afternoon. He was buried in his textbooks, trying to focus on the equations and theories in front of him, anything to distract himself from the ache in his heart.

He flipped through pages, his mind wandering back to the events of the past week. The hurt and betrayal were still fresh, but being surrounded by the hushed atmosphere of the library offered a semblance of peace. It was a stark contrast to the turmoil of emotions that had consumed him since discovering your secret.

Sunghoon took a deep breath, his face still bruised from Heeseung’s punch. “Can I sit?”

Heeseung glanced up at him, his expression conflicted. After a moment, he nodded.

Sunghoon sat down, the silence between them heavy. Finally, he spoke. “Heeseung, I’m so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you.”

Heeseung kept his gaze fixed on the ground. “You were my best friend, Sunghoon. I trusted you more than anyone.”

Sunghoon swallowed hard. “I know. And I betrayed that trust. But I swear, it wasn’t intentional. I just... I fell in love with her.”

Heeseung looked up, his eyes filled with pain. “And you couldn’t tell me? You had to sneak around behind my back?”

Sunghoon nodded, his voice barely above a whisper. “We were scared. We didn’t want to lose you.”

Heeseung’s anger flared again, though not as intensely as before. “You lost me the moment you decided to lie to me.”

Sunghoon’s shoulders slumped. “I know. And I don’t expect you to forgive me right away. But I need you to know that I love y/n. I would never hurt her.”

Heeseung shook his head, tears welling up again. “How can I believe that? After all this?”

Sunghoon’s voice was steady, filled with sincerity. “Because I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. I love her, Heeseung. And I love you too. You’re like a brother to me. Losing you... it’s the last thing I ever wanted.”

Heeseung wiped his eyes, taking a deep breath. “This is going to take time. I don’t know if I can trust either of you right now.”

Sunghoon nodded, understanding. “I’ll wait as long as it takes. Just... please don’t shut us out. We need you- she needs you. she isn’t taking it well.”

Heeseung looked at Sunghoon, seeing the genuine remorse and love in his eyes. “I need time to process this. But... i’ll talk to her”.

Sunghoon managed a small, grateful smile. “Thank you, Heeseung. That means a lot.”

Heeseung nodded, the pain still raw but a small glimmer of hope beginning to form. “We’ll see. Just... don’t hurt her. Or I won’t forgive you. Ever.”

Sunghoon placed a hand on Heeseung’s shoulder, his voice firm. “I won’t. I promise.”

They sat in silence for a while, the weight of their conversation lingering, but there was a sense of understanding beginning to bridge the gap between them.

Sunghoon had been by your side through it all, his own heart heavy with guilt and longing to make things right. later that afternoon, you both lay together in the cacoon of your duvet, hiding you from the outside world. Sunghoon gently pulled you into his arms.

"I talked to Heeseung," Sunghoon murmured softly, his fingers tracing soothing patterns on the soft skin of your back.

you looked up at him, eyes searching his face. "you did?? what did he say? are you ok? did he hit you again?"

Sunghoon sighed, his expression pained. "i’m ok but…he's hurting, baby. deeply. But he's starting to listen. I think... I think there's hope."

Tears welled up in your eyes again. "I miss him, hoon. I miss my brother."

Sunghoon held you tighter, his own eyes moistening. "He misses you too, y/n. He just needs time to heal."

you nodded, burying your face in Sunghoon's chest, seeking comfort in his warmth. "I wish I could take back everything. I wish I hadn’t hurt him."

Sunghoon kissed the top of your head gently. "We’ll get through this, baby. I promise. We just have to be patient."

you stayed like that for a while, finding solace in each other’s embrace, both hoping and praying that time would heal the wounds you had inadvertently caused.

"I love you," you whispered, your voice filled with sincerity and a hint of vulnerability.

Sunghoon cupped you face gently, his gaze locked with yours. "I love you too, y/n," he murmured, pressing a tender kiss to your forehead.

In that moment, despite the pain and uncertainty, your love remained a steadfast anchor, offering hope for reconciliation and a future where healing could finally begin.

The next day, you were sitting in your room, staring blankly at the wall, when there was a gentle knock on the door. you looked up, heart skipping a beat when you saw Heeseung standing in the doorway, a tentative look on his face.

"Can we talk?" Heeseung asked softly, stepping inside.

you nodded, feeling a mix of hope and apprehension. "Of course."

Heeseung took a deep breath, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "I've been thinking a lot, you know about everything."

your eyes filled with tears. "I’m so sorry, Hee. I never wanted to hurt you."

Heeseung nodded, his own eyes glistening. "I know. And I’m sorry for how I reacted. I was just... I felt- i feel so betrayed."

you reached out, taking his hand. "I never meant for it to happen like this. i just didn’t want you to be disappointed, you mean too much to me. but so does he.

Heeseung squeezed your hand gently. "Sunghoon talked to me yesterday. He explained everything. I realize now that you both love each other, and as much as it hurt to find out the way I did, I can’t stand the thought of losing either of you."

your tears spilled over, a mixture of relief and sorrow. "I miss you."

Heeseung’s voice cracked with emotion. "I miss you too, y/n. And I don’t want to lose you. It’s going to take time for me to fully trust again, but I’m willing to try."

you nodded, heart swelling with hope. "i’ll do whatever it takes to make things right. I promise."

he pulls you into a tight embrace, his tears mingling with yours. "We’ll get through this together. I love you, sis"

"I love you too, hee," she whispered, holding him close. "Thank you for giving me a chance to make things right."

As you pulled away from the heartfelt embrace, Heeseung wiped his eyes and managed a small, teasing smile. "You look like shit, by the way."

you laughed through your tears, lightly punching his arm. "wow thanks. You’re not looking so hot yourself."

Heeseung chuckled, the tension in the room easing slightly. "I guess we've both been a mess, huh?"

you nodded, a smile playing on your lips. "Yeah, but maybe now we can start to clean up the mess together."

Heeseung grinned, ruffling your hair. "Sounds like a plan. Just promise me you’ll start eating and going to classes again. We both need to get our lives back on track."

you rolled her eyes playfully. "alright, big brother. I promise. But only if you promise to stop hiding in the library, it’s kinda scary to be honest."

Heeseung laughed, shaking his head. "Deal. Let’s both try to get back to some kind of normal."

you smiled, feeling a warmth in her chest she hadn't felt in days. "I’m really glad we talked, hee."

Heeseung nodded, his expression softening. "Me too, y/n. Me too."

Heeseung leaned back, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "You know, I should probably have a little chat with Sunghoon too."

you raised an eyebrow, curiosity piqued. "Oh? And what are you going to say to him?"

Heeseung smirked, crossing his arms. "Just a friendly reminder that if he ever hurts you, I’ll turn his life into a never-ending horror movie. You know, typical big brother stuff."

you laughed, shaking her head. "Poor Sunghoon. He's already scared of you as it is."

Heeseung chuckled. "Good. Keeps him on his toes."

Just then, Sunghoon timidly peeked around the corner, having overheard the last part of their conversation. "Uh, did I hear my name?"

Heeseung turned to him, his expression mock-serious. "Yeah, just giving y/n a heads-up about your imminent doom if you screw this up."

Sunghoon gulped, trying to hide his nervousness. "Duly noted. I promise, Heeseung, I'll take good care of her."

Heeseung's serious facade broke, and he grinned. "Relax, Sunghoon. Just don’t forget, I’ll always be watching."

Sunghoon laughed nervously, and you rolled your eyes playfully. "Alright, you two, enough with the threats. Let’s just focus on moving forward."

Heeseung nodded, still smiling. "Agreed. But remember, Sunghoon, horror movie."

Sunghoon nodded fervently. "Got it. No horror movies."

Just as the tension in the room began to ease, there was a loud commotion from the front door. Jungwon, Sunoo, and Niki barged into the house, their voices filled with excitement.

"Guess who brought chicken!!!" Jungwon shouted, holding up a bag of takeout.

The trio stopped in their tracks when they saw Heeseung standing in the living room with you and sunghoon, an awkward silence immediately filling the space .

Sunoo looked around, his eyes wide with surprise. "Should we leave?" he whispered to the others, his voice barely audible.

Heeseung, still processing the sudden intrusion, managed to chuckle. "No, it's fine. Come on in."

Jungwon, Sunoo, and Niki exchanged nervous glances but slowly entered the room, setting the bags of food on the table. Niki looked at Heeseung, trying to gauge the situation. "Are you sure? We didn’t mean to interrupt anything."

you smiled, wiping away the remnants of your tears. "It's okay. We were just finishing up."

Sunoo glanced at Sunghoon, noticing his bruised face . "he didn’t punch you again did he?" he says in a whisper.

Sunghoon smiled sheepishly. "no, he didn’t”

sunoo pumps his fist in the air discreetly “progress!!” he whispers.

Jungwon, trying to lighten the mood, clapped his hands together. "Well, since we're all here, why don’t we eat? Maybe some food will help clear the air."

Heeseung nodded, a small smile forming. "Yeah, that sounds good. Let’s eat."

you all gathered around the table, the atmosphere slowly shifted from tense to more relaxed. The sound of laughter and chatter began to fill the room, a reminder of the bond you all shared and the hope that, in time, everything could be mended.

Sunoo leaned over to you, whispering with a playful grin, "You better make sure Heeseung gets the biggest piece of chicken. Peace offering and all."

you laughed, nodding. "Consider it done."

as you ate, the group gradually began to relax, the earlier tension dissipating. Heeseung, Sunghoon, and you exchanged glances, knowing that this was just the beginning of yourjourney to rebuild trust and heal their relationships. But surrounded by friends and shared laughter

a little over a month later, time had done its work, gradually healing the rift between Heeseung, Sunghoon, and you. Heeseung had come to terms with your relationship, and while it had been a rocky road, the bond you shared had grown stronger.

One sunny afternoon, Heeseung pulled up in front of your house to pick up you and Sunghoon for a lunch outing you had planned. He honked the horn lightly, signaling his arrival.

you both emerged from the house, holding hands and smiling. climbing into the backseat of Heeseung’s car, leaving the front seat empty.

Heeseung glanced in the rearview mirror, raising an eyebrow. "Really? The backseat?"

Sunghoon grinned, wrapping his arm around you . "What can I say? We like being close."

you leaned your head on Sunghoon’s shoulder, eyes twinkling with mischief. "Thanks for driving us, Heeseung. You make a great chauffeur."

Heeseung rolled his eyes, starting the engine. "Yah, just don’t do anything you’re not supposed to be doing in my car."

Sunghoon laughed, squeezing your hand. "We promise to be good. Well, mostly."

you often found yourrself reflecting on how much had changed. you had feared losing your brother’s trust and your relationship with Sunghoon in the process, but instead, you had all come out of it closer and more resilient.

One evening, as the sun set, painting the sky in hues of pink and orange, you sat on the balcony of your house. Heeseung and Sunghoon joined you, sitting on either side, each lost in their thoughts.

“Do you ever think about how far we’ve come?” you asked softly, glancing at both of them.

Heeseung nodded, a gentle smile on his face. “Yeah, I do. It wasn’t easy, but I’m glad we made it through.”

Sunghoon took yourhand, squeezing it lightly. “We’ve grown a lot, all of us. And I wouldn’t trade any of it for the world.”

you leaned her head on Heeseung’s shoulder, feeling the warmth of their presence. “I’m just glad I have both of you. It was tough, but it’s worth it. Having you both by my side means everything to me.”

Heeseung wrapped an arm around you, his smile widening. “We’re family. And nothing is going to change that.”

Sunghoon nodded, looking at Heeseung. “Thank you for accepting us, Heeseung. It means a lot.”

Heeseung chuckled, ruffling Sunghoon’s hair. “Just remember, if you ever hurt her, you’ll have to deal with me.”

you laughed, feeling a sense of peace and contentment. “I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love you both so much.”

The three of you sat there, enjoying the serene evening, knowing that despite the challenges you had faced, you had come out stronger and more united. The love and trust you had rebuilt were the foundation of your unbreakable bond.

As the sun dipped below the horizon, you felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude. It had been a rocky and tough situation, but you had both your boys, and that was all that really mattered.

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senditcolton · 5 months ago

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It Would've Been Sweet...

...if it could've been me.

summary: there was no good reason for you to be in TD Garden during a Game 7 Stanley Cup Final Game. especially when the only connection you had to the sport was your ex-boyfriend Joel Edmundson, who you had left in St. Louis six months ago. but here you were. what were you doing here? song inspo: The 1 by Taylor Swift word count: 8.8k warnings: time jumps [past is in italics], argument scene, language, angst with a bittersweet ending Disclaimer: Reading/creating content for married players isn’t for everyone. Please don’t read if you don’t vibe with it, but don’t attack me or others!

What were you doing here?

That was the question running on loop through your mind as your eyes stay glued to the ice a few dozen feet below. There was absolutely no reason for you to step foot in this arena. There was no good reason why you shouldn’t be in your studio apartment on Newbury Street right now, curled up under your blankets, watching re-runs of bad reality TV.

When you received a text earlier that day from an old friend, asking if you had any plans, you knew what she was going to propose. You had seen the news. You had felt the energy go up in this east coast sports city. And you knew why your friend – a friend who you hadn’t seen since you moved 1,200 miles across the country – was in the city you now called home and had asked you to join her at this place on this night of all nights.

You knew all of this and could list all the reasons why you shouldn’t have responded; why you should’ve ghosted her like you had everyone else you left in St. Louis. But despite all that, you texted her back.

That was how you found yourself sitting in a clubhouse suite in TD Garden, trying desperately to only focus on the black and yellow jerseys of the Boston Bruins zipping around the ice.

Trying not to look over at the other end of the rink. Trying not to look at the white jerseys with blue and gold detailing. Trying not to scan the sea of players for the one person you should’ve forgotten by now.

Trying not to have your eyes land on the number six emblazoned on your ex-boyfriend’s back.

What were you doing here? You shouldn’t be here.

But we were something, don’t you think so?

“You shouldn’t be here.”

The unfamiliar voice sounding from behind you tears you out of the peace you were taking in the quiet kitchen, causing you to spin around. You were ready to tell whoever it was off, ready to confront the person who was so bold as to say where you did and did not belong. However, the face that greets you, the owner of the voice, is not what you expected.

His head of chestnut brown curls was messy, his stunning hazel eyes sparkling as they rake up and down your body and his lips, surrounded by a light scruff, were twisted up into a small smirk. He was cute. Like, really cute. It also didn’t hurt that he was clad in swim trunks and a t-shirt that was cut short, exposing his muscular midriff.

You tighten your hand around the beer bottle you were holding as you lean back against counter, your face shifting from annoyance to mirror his casual bright expression.

“And why is that?” you ask, taking a small sip.

“Because,” this stranger starts, “this is Dunner’s party. And the Dunner I know would have never invited someone so gorgeous to his house and without hanging over her shoulder the entire time.”

You let out a light laugh, the compliment not escaping your notice.

“Oh really? How do you even know I was invited by Vince? Maybe I snuck into my neighbor’s house in the hopes of meeting a hot single man. Maybe this is the first step in my evil plan to make a professional hockey player to fall madly in love with me.”

“And how is that working out for you?”

“You tell me.”

The man in front of you lets out a big laugh, causing a genuine smile to grace your face. You liked the sound of it, the sight of his head being thrown back, his smile so bright it almost blinded you. He looked back at you, the grin still on his lips.

You hold out your hand to him, giving this stranger your name as an introduction and hoping he sees your somewhat formal greeting as an awkward indication of your interest. He gladly takes your hand in his, shaking it gently as he gives you his name in return.

“Joel.”

You two stand there for a moment longer, simply looking at each other and you are trying not to focus on the warmth of his palm and the energy that seems to be flowing between you.

“So, why are you here?” he asks, dropping his hand from yours and you try not to let your face fall in disappointment at the loss of his touch.

“My friend invited me,” you say, gesturing towards the crowd of people in backyard. “What you said earlier – that Vince would be draped over some gorgeous girl – you are right about that. It’s just that my friend Daphne is who Vince is attached to.”

Joel hums and softly nods hid head in understanding. He walks a few steps until he is resting his body against the counter right next to you, his arm slightly brushing the bare skin of your own.

“Okay, so that’s the reason why you’re at this party. But, why are you here?” he asks, lightly gesturing around the empty room before glancing over to you. You sigh, looking out the large glass windows facing the backyard, watching the rest of the party mingle on the grass or splash in the pool, their laughter dancing on the late summer breeze. And here you were, hiding in the kitchen.

“I thought it would be fun. Not sure if I was right,” you explain, your hands going to fiddle with the loose corner of the beer label. “But Daphne is always trying to get me to go out with her.”

“Why don’t you?”

“It just really isn’t my scene. I did the whole party life thing in college and now, it’s just kind of lost its appeal.”

Joel lets out another hum, his eyes focused on you. He glances back at his teammates, acting loud and rambunctious as always. It was a lot to take in, he realized, especially if you weren’t exposed to it for over half the year like he was. He looks back at you, your fingers still fidgeting with the damp paper, your eyes far away.

You were beautiful. The thought was in Joel’s head before he could even process what it meant. And he knew instantly that he didn’t want to see you worried, that he wanted to see you smile again.

“So, you aren’t trying to get an attractive, wealthy hockey player to fall in love with you?”

You let out a laugh, your eyes connecting with his once again. The sparkle in his irises tells you he is joking with you, trying to make you feel comfortable. But there is also another emotion behind it. You can see it trying to swim to the surface, a desire that hadn’t been directed your way in a long time.

“Well, never say never,” you quip back. “Do you happen to know someone who would be willing to be infatuated with me?”

Joel tilts his head back, his hand going to stroke the facial hair on his chin, pretending to be deep in thought.

“There is this one guy…” he starts, trailing off to catch your reaction. You turn towards him, the playful smile still on your face.

“He plays on the same team as Dunner. He’s also defenseman as well, number 6. A decent hockey player. Funny, chill, and pretty good-looking, if I do say so myself.”

You hum in thought, your fingers tapping a small rhythm against the top of the marble island before nonchalantly shrugging your shoulders.

“He seems promising. Do you think he would like me?”

“Oh yeah, definitely,” Joel replies almost instantaneously, causing a small giggle to fall from your lips.

“Well then, point me in his direction!” you declare, catching Joel smiling at you out of the corner of your eye. “The next step would be to trip dramatically and fall into the pool, which will cause him to dive in after me to save my life. That is where our romance will begin!” you continue, throwing out your hands for additional affect.

“Or…” he says, gently grabbing your hand out of the air, his thumb brushing against the soft skin. “I could just give you his phone number. It might save you some time. And bodily harm.”

You smile, jolts of electricity racing through you from his touch.

“I suppose that works too.”

In my defense, I have none for digging up the grave another time.

“Hey, are you alright?”

You hear Daphne’s voice next to you and you finally tear your gaze away from the ice. She is staring at you, a hint of genuine concern in her eyes. The light-washed blue denim of her jacket stands out in the sea of black and gold and you spy the number 29 proudly displayed on her shoulder. Somehow, the sight of it makes you feel self-conscious that you’re only wearing an oversized grey sweater with a small Blues logo over the left breast. But then again, what else should you be wearing?

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you say, shaking your head, trying to erase the fantasy of you wearing a customized jacket out of your brain. “It just feels a little weird to be here, that’s all.”

Daphne turns to look around the box, all the other Better Halves excitedly talking and mingling. A few had come over to greet you, almost to welcome you back into the chosen sisterhood that developed between you all. But they knew it was only for one night.

Anyone could see how messed up this situation was; you coming to the biggest game of your ex-boyfriends’ career, hanging out with the ladies that you had grown close to in those six months you and Joel were together. Willingly placing yourself into this moment, as if nothing happened.

As if there was no break-up, as if you didn’t move halfway across the country and ghost all of them just to avoid anything that would remind you of his smile, his hazel eyes, his contagious laughter.

Daphne sighs as she returns her gaze to you, your chin resting in your upturned palm, your eyes now focused on the giant screen hanging above the ice.

“You didn’t have to come, you know. Not that I don’t want you here,” she quickly backtracks. “I’m so happy you’re here. I missed you. We all missed you, trust me. But, you know, if it gets to be too much, you don’t have to stay. Everyone would understand.”

“Why would I turn down the opportunity to see a Stanley Cup Final game? Especially a Game 7.”

Daphne looks at you, a disapproving glint in her eyes. She knows that you’re trying to make light of the situation, make it a joke, and ignore the real reason you said yes. She knows exactly what made you agree to come meet her after months, even if you weren’t ready to admit it to yourself. And it sure as hell wasn’t a free ticket.

She turns away from you, her eyes following your gaze to the now pristine and empty rink. The lights dim and the roar from the hometown crowd goes up. But the sound and the energy buzzing through the stadium wasn’t enough to stop you from hearing Daphne’s last spoken words.

“He would be happy to know you’re here.”

You look down at the ice as the players step out, now allowing yourself to find the one person that you refused to acknowledge since you stepped foot in the arena.

“I’m not so sure about that.”

And if you wanted me, you really should’ve shown.

He was late. Again.

You sigh, as you continue to pace around your kitchen, your heels clicking gently on the tile floor. It had been almost two hours since Joel was supposed to pick you up for a date. But instead of sitting in an upscale restaurant, drinking good wine and eating decadent meals, you were left waiting in your best dress, watching the hands on the clock circle.

Although, you weren’t sure why you were still waiting.

The reservations you two had were definitely cancelled by now and at this point in the night, it was too late to even think about doing anything other than lying in your bed, watching whatever was airing on The Game Show Network until you fell asleep.

But you stayed, hoping that your boyfriend would walk through the door. Because you were pissed. You wanted to make him feel guilty for leaving you stranded like this. It wasn’t healthy – you knew that – but you weren’t sure what else to do. Lately, it seemed like Joel was more interested in… well, anything that wasn’t you.

When you two first started dating, it was like something out of a cheesy rom-com. He was attentive and caring and you had honestly never felt more loved. But before you knew it, the fire between you two started to dwindle.

In the back of your mind, you knew it was coming. Everyone talked about the honeymoon phase and its inevitable end. You just weren’t prepared for it to end when it did.

It also didn’t help that that conclusion of that lavender haze just happened to coincide with the St. Louis Blues’ worst losing streak, landing them in last place, not just in the division or the conference, but within the entire league. And the playoffs were just over the horizon.

Glancing back at the clock, you sigh. You are ready to give up, call it quits and change back into your comfy old sweatpants when you hear the doorknob turn. Your boyfriend’s laughter echoes around your apartment, the voices of Colton and Robert also filling the quiet evening.

You exit the kitchen and walk into the living room, your eyes landing on Joel, his arms slung over Colton and Robert Bortuzzo’s shoulders respectively. He doesn’t notice you at first, his eyes focused down as he attempts to kick off his shoes. You cross your arms and clear your throat and it is that noise that brings his attention up to you.

“Babe!” he shouts, his face flushed and eyes hazy.

“Hey,” Colton greets you as he supports his teammate’s weight. “Sorry, he got drunk tonight. We tried to take him home but he insisted we bring him here.”

You let out a small hum, the anger boiling in your stomach as you take in Joel’s inebriated state. Instead of moving toward him, fawning over him or laughing at him like you normally would, your feet stay glued to the floor. Out of the corner of your eye, you see both Colton and Robert look you up and down, taking in your dress and heels. The tense atmosphere is palpable and not even Joel’s incoherent babbling can stop them from realizing that the drunken man between them had royally fucked up.

You let out a heavy sigh, gritting your teeth, your body sinking in defeat. This was not the situation that you had planned for the night and you had half a mind to throw him out. However, you were never the one to cause a scene and you weren’t about to get into it with Joel when he probably couldn’t even walk straight, let alone think straight.

“You can take him to the guest bedroom,” you say. “Down the hall to the left.”

You can almost feel the relief that came off in waves from Robert and Colton as they started to half walk, half drag Joel down the hall, you following close behind. Joel didn’t seem to understand anything happening around him until they guided him towards the guest bedroom and away from yours.

“Wait, where are we going?” he mumbled, trying to move his body back in the direction of your bedroom. “This isn’t the way to bed, guys. And I should know. I’ve been there a bunch of times.”

You fight back the urge to scream at Joel’s not-so-subtle innuendo, already feeling embarrassed about the situation he had put you in. Instead, you help shove him onto the mattress of the guest bed, watching as your boyfriend flounders against the covers. Joel tries to lift himself up but both Robert and Colton push him back. His eyes dart from his friends over to you, those hazel irises wide as he looks up at you like a neglected puppy dog. It takes all your effort to keep your icy demeanor.

“Babe, why can’t I sleep in your bed?”

“I don’t want you puking all over my sheets,” you say cooly, even though everyone else in the room knew the real reason why he was being banished to the guest bedroom. Joel doesn’t notice your coldness and instead shoots a goofy grin in your direction, his head hitting the pillow, curls flying wildly as he mumbles that he promises not to. You roll your eyes, having heard enough of his so-called promises in the past few weeks.

Robert clears his throat and you turn to him and Colton, awkwardly standing in the room next to you. You sigh, walking away from Joel and leading them out into the hallway and back to your front door.

“Thanks for getting him here safe boys,” you say, holding the door open for them as they walk over the threshold and out into the hallway.

“Of course,” Colton says, shooting you a sympathetic smile. You start to close the door but just before it shuts completely, you hear the small chirp that leaves Robert’s lips.

“Not sure how safe he’s going to be in there.”

You fasten the lock on your front door before you let your head fall forward, gently hitting your forehead against the wood, the anger still radiating from your tense body. Bortz doesn’t know how right he is. To say you are livid is the understatement of the year. You want nothing more than to tear Joel a new one but you know that doing that now would be pointless.

So instead, you take a few deep breaths in through your nose and out your mouth. Then you turn back into the kitchen and grab a glass, filling it with cold water from the Brita filter in your fridge. After grabbing the small case of Tylenol from your purse, you wander back to the guest bedroom.

Joel is curled up on the bed, still completely dressed except for the shoes that he managed to remove at your front door. You hate the way your heart softens as you take in his sleeping face, his lips slightly parted and his curls wild against the pillowcase. Moving over to the nightstand, you place the glass of water and aspirin down and move to leave when Joel reaches out and manages to grab your hand. You look down at him, his eyes now half opened and his thumb gently caressing the skin on your wrist.

“Come to bed,” he mumbles, slightly tugging you towards him. You gently remove your hand from his grasp and take a few steps back from him.

“Not tonight.”

You reach the threshold of the room, ready to leave when you hear Joel’s voice call your name and you turn your body, your eyes connecting with his.

“You look really pretty,” he murmurs.

Normally, a smile would tug at the corner of your lips in response to his compliment. But your face stays frozen in its apathy as you watch Joel’s eyes close once more. You are silent as you push yourself out the door and walk into the peace of your own bedroom. It isn’t until you are curled under the covers, your dress exchanged for pajamas and your face scrubbed free of makeup, do the tears finally start to fall.

In my defense, I have none for never leaving well enough alone.

Everything about this situation was stressing you out.

The hockey fan in you was stressed because you had just sat through 20 excruciating minutes of the Blues getting almost no time in the offensive zone and you practically screamed every time Jordan was forced to make a save.

The other part of you was stressed because you weren’t sure if you were allowed to be this worried about the boys.

It was still true that you cared about the team and wanted nothing more than for them to win this. You wanted to hug Devon and Dayna when Jay scored a goal that deflected off Ryan’s stick, getting the Blues on the board first. You wanted to scream and jump with Jayne when Alex scored in the last 10 seconds of the first period. And you definitely felt the thrum of pride run through you when Joel laid down in front of a shot by Sean Kuraly, potentially preventing a Bruins goal.

But it felt almost wrong to care this much.

The only reason you got into hockey was because of Joel. You learned the game for him, cheered for him, celebrated every win and mourned every loss. With him. And now, you were no longer his.

It wasn’t right for you to act like you were still a member of this group. Because you would just be lying to yourself. And it would just make it that much harder to leave.

You couldn’t let yourself fall into that comfortable complacency, pretending that everything was alright. That everything was different.

You know the greatest loves of all time are over now.

You woke up, your heart heavy and your eyes puffy. It took a moment to shake off the groggy haze that hung over you, to remember the reason why your heart felt like it had gone five rounds in a boxing ring, but eventually, the events of last night came flooding back to you.

The sound of the clock ticking on the wall. Your feet aching in your heels. Joel’s slurred words. The way his hand felt intwined in yours. Your tears falling onto the pillowcase.

You didn’t want to face him but he was in your apartment, sleeping a few doors down from you. There wasn’t no way to avoid the inevitable confrontation. With a huff of breath, you raise yourself from your bed, the sheets falling from your body, your bare feet connect with the cold hardwood floor.

You quietly open the door and walk down the hall, ignoring the urge to walk into the guest bedroom and check on Joel. Instead, you pad into your kitchen and start to make your morning cup of coffee. It is when you are standing in front of the machine watching your mug fill, do you feel a pair of arms wrap around your waist.

“Mornin’” you hear Joel mumble into your shoulder as his lips press against your bare skin. Every fiber of your body wants to melt into his embrace but you resist, choosing instead to shrug yourself out of his grasp. You take your mug from the machine and walk over to one of the stools at the end of your island, sitting down so your body faces him. You take a small sip, still not acknowledging Joel standing stunned in the place you left him.

“Babe?” His questioning voice causes you to look up and you can feel a flare of anger appear at the sight of his confused expression painted on his face. “Did I do something wrong?”

His ignorant question is the breaking point and you practically slam your mug onto the cold marble in front of you, some of the hot liquid sloshing over the side. Your eyes connect with his as the vindictive rage you had been holding in for almost twelve hours finally starts to pour out of you.

“Do you really have to ask that Joel?” you spit out, not even attempting to hide the pure venom in your voice. “Let’s start with the fact that last night, I spent almost two hours waiting for you in this goddamn kitchen. Do you remember why? It was because we had a date. You were supposed to pick me up and we were supposed to go out to that cute little bistro by the river.”

You see his eyes widen as he takes in the information, remembering the plans that the two of you had. His reaction makes your wrath feel righteous. Joel’s mouth opens as if to say something, perhaps an apology, but you cut him off before he can even utter a sound.

“And then, the moment I was about to call it quits, to give up and go to bed and call you in the morning, after trying to call you multiple times that night, what happens? You come stumbling into my house, practically being carried by Parayko and Bortuzzo. So, instead of spending a beautiful night with your girlfriend, you decided to what? Get drunk with your friends? And then insist that they bring you here so I can take care of you?”

“Babe I’m so sorry, I –” Joel starts to say but you stop him.

“I’m not your maid, or you mother, or your fucking side-chick, Joel. I’m your girlfriend. I am not some shiny thing that you can play with when you get bored and then toss to the side when something new catches your interest.”

You see his eyes darken at your words and Joel takes two long strides over to where you were sitting.

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” he grits out, now towering over you. In any other situation, you might shrink and back down, always the mediator. But this time, you are just too livid to care.

“What it means is if you want me, you need to start giving a shit about me. That means keeping your promises and showing up when I fucking ask you to.”

“I’m sorry, alright. Is that what you want to hear?” he says, his voice raising in frustration.

“I want to hear why you chose getting shit-faced with your friends over picking me up for the date we had planned for weeks.”

“Jesus, it slipped my mind. We were just hanging out and Bortz suggested we drink and it just got out of hand. We were all stressed about the team and it just seemed like the best thing to do. You understand that we are in last place!? If we don’t start winning games, we can kiss any chance of the playoffs goodbye. Part of my fucking job is to try and fix that, but I can’t do that when you are demanding all of my attention.”

Your mouth drops open, a scoff leaving your lips as your brain registers Joel’s accusation.

“Excuse me? I’m demanding all of your attention? I’m not the one who showed up drunk on the doorstep, begging to be coddled like a child.”

“Oh, get over it. I showed up, didn’t I? I remembered you. You know how many girls I could get, how many are lurking in my DM’s waiting for their chance. You’re lucky that even though I was drunk, I didn’t run to one of them. Although, maybe I should’ve. They would’ve taken care of me and they definitely wouldn’t be busting my balls right now.”

His words take you aback, cutting through you down to your core and you can feel the sting of tears in the corner of your eyes. Joel knew all your insecurities and here he was, using that knowledge to hurt you deeper than anyone else could.

“Get. The fuck. Out of my house,” you grit out, your chest heaving as you try to control your breathing. Your voice is quiet but hard as you stare down the man in front of you. Although you will for it not to happen, a tear escapes you, rolling down your cheek and you see Joel’s eye dart to it, the color draining from his face as he realizes what he’s said.

“Fuck, baby, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t mean it, I swear,” he babbles, dropping to his knees in front of you, reaching for your hands. You rip them away from his grasp and let the floodgates open. The tears flow freely now and the hurt that had settled in your sternum tickles up your throat.

“Don’t,” you whisper. “Don’t you dare imply that the girls in your DM’s care more about you than I do. They’re not the ones who make your pre-game meals and drive you to practice and let you rant about anything: trade rumors or ice times or bullshit calls. They don’t give a fuck about you, Joel. All they care about is your looks and the price tag attached to your name. But fine. If you want someone who’s only good for a night, someone who’s not going to tie you down and hold you accountable and challenge you while still caring about you and loving you… then we’re done. Now there’s nothing stopping you from getting what you want.”

You lift yourself off the stool and walk back towards your bedroom, leaving Joel kneeling on the floor. The door latches behind you and you wait. For what, you aren’t entirely sure. It’s only after you hear the echoing of the front door shutting, do your knees give out and you drop to the ground, your sobs racking through your now empty apartment.

That is where you stay until you have no tears left, your energy completely drained. You are sure your heart has broken into a million little pieces and if someone were to cut you open, the crimson flood would pulse out, staining everything around you. But the worst part would be that it would beat out to the rhythm of one phrase, the one phrase that you had never said to anyone else;

I love you. I love you. I love you.

And if my wishes came true, it would’ve been you.

You couldn’t do this.

Somehow you managed to sit through another period and every time Joel stepped out onto the ice, your eyes were glued to him. You watched as he continued to play his game, dumping pucks into the offensive zone, blocking shots, helping puck movement, setting up multiple opportunities for his teammates to score.

When you watched him on the ice, you understood why you fell for him. He was kind and unselfish. He wanted to help the team even if it didn’t mean any glory for him. That was the type of person he was.

And when the buzzer sounded signaling the end of the second period, you felt your heart reaching out to him as he exited down the tunnel towards the locker room.

You couldn’t do this.

You jump from your seat and push your way past the other Better Halves, out of the suite. It takes a while for you to find a semi-secluded staircase in the winding corridors of the club level but when you do, you sink onto the carpeted stairs, ready to hide for the rest of the game in your makeshift oasis. Your head falls into your upturned palms as you try to calm your breathing. You are so caught up your emotions that you don’t notice a body crouch down in front of you.

The soft call of your name bounces off the walls and you look up to lock eyes with Jayne Pietrangelo, a sympathetic expression painted on her face.

“I’m fine,” you say, trying to keep the tremble from your voice.

“Bullshit.”

The quiet conviction in her voice startles you at first but her steady gaze causes your walls to crumble. Before you can even blink, she has you wrapped in a hug, squeezing you tight as if she could make everything better by just holding you. You aren’t ashamed to say that is almost worked.

Jayne was one of the first people to welcome you into the group and you were pretty sure she thought that you and Joel were end game before that idea even crossed your mind. She became like a big sister to you and when you ended things with Joel, she was one of the few calls you picked up in the days after.

She lets you push your face into the denim jacket she was wearing as she gently strokes your hair. After you manage to compose yourself, she pulls back from you, forcing you to lock eyes with her.

“Tell me what’s wrong,” she softly demands and you almost let out a laugh at her demeanor. Alex’s captain tendencies must have rubbed off on her because here she was, ready to coach you through anything.

“I just can’t do this,” you sigh out, your head shaking as your eyes dart to the ceiling.

“Can’t do what?”

“Be here. Watch him. I don’t belong here anymore.”

“Do you want to leave?”

“Yes. No. I don’t know.”

All Jayne does is let out a small hum as she comes to sit next to you. You two stay there in quiet contemplation, your mind racing a mile a minute as you wait for her to say something, anything that will make you feel better.

“I’m not going to stop you from leaving, if that’s what you want to do,” Jayne says, her eyes sliding over to connect with yours. “But I think you are ignoring the real question. Instead of asking yourself if you’re allowed to be here or if you even want to be here, you need to understand why you’re here. Why did you decide to come to a place where you knew you were going to re-live some painful memories? You knew what you were walking into and yet you still came.”

She turns to you, her hands reaching out to grip yours as she stares at you, her eyes cutting you open and laying out your soul like the pages of an old book.

“So, tell me. Why are you here?”

Her question rattles around your brain as you search for the answer. The lies are easy to think of, ready to fall from your lips: it’s a Stanley Cup Final game, you didn’t have anything else to do, Daphne asked you to come, you wanted to see all the girls again.

But you knew the real reason you said yes; the real reason you found an old oversized Blues sweatshirt in the back of your closet that still smelled faintly of cologne, the real reason you walked to TD Garden after spending months trying to forget about anything that reminded you of St. Louis. And he was sitting in a locker room a few dozen feet below you, with only 20 minutes left in a game that most players dreamed about, hoping that he would be able to hoist the greatest trophy in sports.

“I wanted to be here for him. Win or lose,” you say, the words still a little unsteady after being locked in your heart for six months. You take a deep breath and let yourself continue, allowing the confession you had been denying every time it appeared in your head fall from your lips.

“Because I love him. I still love him.”

Jayne says nothing for a few moments, letting your words hang in the air before she shoots you a gentle smile.

“That’s enough of a reason for you to stay.”

She gets up, holding out her hand to you. Looking up at her, you allow yourself to smile, the first genuine grin flooding your face. You take her hand and let her lift you off the staircase and lead you back to the suite where the rest of your friends were waiting.

And if you never bleed, you’re never gonna grow.

You were a wreck since your fight with Joel. He had tried to call you multiple times but you let it go to voicemail every time. And as the days passed, the calls became less and less frequent until they stopped altogether.

A week later, you came home to find a small box sitting on your doorstep. Inside was all the things you had left at Joel’s place with a small note sitting on the top.

“I’m sorry.”

You had never cried more in your life than you did that evening.

After laying in your bed for hours on end, binge eating chocolate, and binge watching the same three TV shows, you finally decided it was time to stop wallowing in your sadness and try to move on. The next day, you cleared out everything in your house that reminded you of Joel and let yourself get lost in the effort of forgetting him.

It wasn’t easy.

You still sometimes woke up before the sun, your body telling you it was time to get Joel to practice. When you had a bad day, you found yourself making his favorite meal, as if his sadness had melded with yours. Whenever you turned on the news, you always managed to catch it in time to hear the sports section. You found yourself listening to how the Blues were winning again, pulling themselves out of last place and continually pushing themselves towards the playoffs. You resisted the urge to dial Joel’s number, still stored in your phone, and congratulate him after every win or console him after a loss.

As a distraction, you threw yourself into your work, getting tasks done at a breakneck speed and being more productive than you had ever been. You managed to have the best work quarter of your life and your reviews were through the roof. Although, you didn’t really take note of it because you weren’t trying to impress your boss or the company. You were simply trying to stop your mind from focusing on something else, like the feeling of freshly washed curls between your fingers and a smile that outshined the stars.

So, the day your boss called you into her office, the last thing you were expecting her was a promotion. And you certainly weren’t expecting to pack your things and move to Boston after accepting said promotion.

But part of you was relieved to be leaving. It would be much easier to forget about Joel in a city where most people didn’t even know his name. When you landed in Boston, you thought that this would be the place where everything you left behind would fade away.

And you were right. At least, for a few months.

You made new friends and went out to bars and brunches. You continued to work your ass off at your job, now working to prove yourself instead of just working to forget. You didn’t realize that Joel hadn’t even crossed your mind for a long time.

Then one night, when you were out dancing with friends, a handsome stranger pulled you into his lips. And it felt good. You felt free for the first time in a while, believing that your heart was finally mending after everything it had been through.

But that night, after you went home alone and crashed into your bed with your head pounding from the alcohol in your veins, you dreamt of Joel. Of him holding you tight and hearing his heartbeat pound in his chest.

You woke up the next day with the most exquisite ache in your chest and a desperate desire to be wrapped up in his arms once more. Then, when you were walking home from the grocery store that same day, you thought you saw him standing on the corner.

It wasn’t him, of course. But just the mere possibility of seeing him again had you almost dropping your bags onto the sidewalk and rushing into the arms of a complete stranger who just so happened to look like your ex-boyfriend.

That was the moment you knew you were fucked.

Soon, you found yourself turning on the TV, watching hockey games for the first time in months. And when the Bruins won the East and the Blues won the West, you realized that your two worlds were colliding. The world with Joel and the world after him were crashing together and you would be caught up in the carnage. But you were ready for it.

So, when you received a text message from Daphne, who you hadn’t spoken to since you left St. Louis, you answered it. And when she mentioned that Yana couldn’t make the games as she had just given birth to Vladi and hers second son, your heart waited for her to ask the question you hoped to hear. And when she asked if you wanted to come to Game 7 with her, the tug in your heart had made the decision long before you got the words out.

If one thing had been different, would everything be different today?

That was how you found yourself standing in the suite with all the other St. Louis Better Halves, watching as the final minutes of the final period counted down.

After Jayne pulled you back to the seats, you decided to let yourself go. No more holding back your emotions, no more resisting the feelings that had been churning inside you since you stepped foot in the arena. Instead, you screamed with the rest of the girls when Brayden scored another goal to put the Blues up three to nothing. You held breath, squeezing Daphne’s hand as you all watched Vince lead a three-man breakaway, silently praying for something good to come from that opportunity. And you jumped and hugged the girls when Zach scored a fourth goal with less than five minutes left.

And now, you were on your feet, one hand clasped in Daphne’s and the other clasped in Jayne’s, your heart pounding as you watched the clock on the scoreboard in front of you drop to seconds as the final minute of play began.

You could see the bench, the boys on their feet and as every second ticked by, they grew closer and closer to victory. Your eyes looked for Joel, wanting to memorize every minute of his reaction when the final buzzer sounded. It took you a little while to locate him in the crowd but once you did, your eyes never strayed from his body.

He was bouncing with excitement, the anticipation buzzing through him. You could see him slowly realize that this was going to happen, that he was going to be a Stanley Cup champion and when Jaden shoots the puck towards the blue line and it sails past Krejci, onto the other side of the rink, you watched him leap over the bench, throwing his gloves and stick into the air as he rushed to the goal, slamming into the pile of his teammates, all cheering because they finally, finally achieved what they had been working their whole life towards.

You almost collapse under the pure excitement rushing though you, the screams of the other girls echoing around the box and they celebrated. They were hugging and cheering but you kept your eyes on the ice, watching as the boys embraced each other. You felt tears welling in your eyes and it wasn’t until Jayne pulled you into a hug did you tear your focus away from the sweaty mop of curls.

“They did it!” she screamed and pulled you into a bone-crushing hug. You hugged her back and found yourself going around to the other girls, who celebrated with you like nothing had changed. Because nothing had changed. Just because you weren’t with Joel didn’t mean that these girls weren’t your friends. You had become a part of their lives and you were ready to celebrate with them for as long as they would have you. You hoped that would be a long time.

Daphne held you tight as the two of you jumped up and down, screaming incoherently at the fact that this did indeed happen. That Vince was a Stanley Cup Champion. That Joel was a Stanley Cup Champion. That the St. Louis Blues were Stanley Cup Champions.

All the girls turned their attention to the ice as the Conn Smythe trophy was presented and you swore that almost everyone jumped into Dayna’s arms when Ryan’s name was announced over the loudspeaker. It was a few moments until finally, the Stanley Cup was carried out onto the ice. You watched the boys, lined up, arms wrapped around each other as they took in the trophy that was finally theirs.

And when Alex skated forward and hoisted the Cup over his head, you cheered louder than you had in your entire life.

You watched as the Cup made its way down the lineup, passing between players, each one of them unable to contain their excitement and joy. Daphne pulled you close when Vince had his turn, lifting it above him and you could see the tears in her eyes as she watched the man she loved celebrate. And she held you next to her when Joel finally got his hands on the Cup.

The joy in your heart was indescribable as you watched him carry the 35-pound trophy, cheering and pressing kisses to the silver metal. It was exactly the moment you had wanted for him since you first started dating. It was what you dreamed about at every home game, his name and number proudly displayed on your back. It was what you had hoped for when you watched him on your television for the previous six games of the finals. And it was everything you had wished for ever since you walked into TD Garden almost two hours ago.

The girls were moving, picking up their things and heading out of the box, presumably to go down to the ice to congratulate their men on a hard-fought victory. A wave of doubt settled over you and you shifted your weight between your feet, unsure if you should, or were even allowed, to go down with them. It wasn’t until Daphne grabbed one hand and Jayne grabbed the other did you start to move.

You all make your way down the corridors, pushing past people and flashing your security passes. Your heart rate increases once you reach the end of the tunnel. The lights were still shining bright, causing the ice to blind you as you step onto the rink. The three of you carefully shuffle across the ice, the atmosphere still electric with the energy buzzing off the players and staff.

Jayne was the first to break away from your group, running towards Alex who was currently being interviewed. You see the reporter notice Jayne hurrying over and give Alex a nudge in her direction. His face instantly brightens the moment he sees her and he skates over, embracing her.

It wasn’t long before Vince spotted Daphne. As soon as his eyes land on her, he was rushing towards her and she dropped your hand to meet him halfway. You watch as he pulls her close to kiss her deeply, her hands tangling in his hair.

As happy as you were for all of them, both the players and your friends, their joy and intimacy left you feeling awkward as you stand alone in center ice. You weren’t exactly sure what you were supposed to be doing, if anything. While the girls welcomed you with open arms, you weren’t that close to the other players or staff. Most of them hadn’t seen you since you ended things with Joel.

It was when you caught the eye of Colton Parayko did you really feel like a deer in headlights.

Colton’s eyes flicker behind you, looking for Joel, wondering if he had seen you. Glancing back at you, he stood there a moment longer, taking you in. Then, that familiar crooked smile broke out on his face and the breath you didn’t know you had been holding rushed out of you. You mirrored his grin, your body relaxing as he gave you a small wave. You laughed and returned his gesture before he skated away, going to celebrate with his family.

His quiet reassurance was all you needed to feel certain that you were meant to be here.

You slowly spin, finally taking in the joy surrounding you, letting it soak into your skin. You watch Vladi sit on the edge of the rink as he calls Yana, see Laila walking over to Colton and see him wrap her into a giant hug, look over towards Patty lifting his son Anthony onto his shoulders, still shouting and pumping his fists in the air.

You were so caught up in enjoying the moment that you didn’t notice a pair of eyes attach to your frame. It wasn’t until you completed your circle did your gaze fall on Joel, his gaze already locked on you.

A towel was slung around his neck, the Stanley Cup Championship hat perched on his head. And he was staring at you as if he had seen a ghost. You were sure you looked the same way.

You both stand there, a few feet away, simply drinking in the sight of seeing one another in person for the first time in months.

You feel your heart swell as you take him in, the joy still emulating from his body. Words couldn’t describe how happy you were for him. Even if he was no longer a part of your life, you were happy to see him succeed. You wanted him to know that.

Part of you would always love him, that much you were certain of. But part of you knew that maybe you two just weren’t meant to be. And for the first time, that thought didn’t send a jolt of pain straight to your chest. Instead, you felt the warm wave of acceptance wash over you.

You let a small smile dance onto your face, connecting your eyes with his and silently sending all the care and admiration you had for him across the ice. And when you looked into his hazel eyes, the ones that you missed waking up to every morning, you let only one thought reverberate within your mind:

I love you.

And when he smiled back, his eyes sparkling like they always did, you knew that he was thinking the same thing.

But it would’ve been fun, if you would’ve been the one.

You had never felt happier than you did in this moment. The sky was a perfect blue above you, the sun shining on your bare skin, its light refracting off the soft waves on the lake.

You lean back, your feet gently kick in the water off the end of the boat and your eyes close as you let the peaceful contentment soak into your bones. You feel a form settle behind you, a pair of arms coming to wrap around your waist and pull you close. Eyes opening, you glance back to see Joel, a light sun-kissed hue now dusting his nose and cheekbones. A soft smile makes its way onto your lips, causing him to grin back at you.

“Hey pretty lady.”

“Hi,” you softly whisper out.

“What are you doing back here?” he asks, pulling you even closer, his chin coming to rest on your shoulder. You lean your head against him, taking a deep breath.

“Nothing. Just relaxing.”

Joel just hums in reply, letting the silence return as your bodies press against each other, simply supporting the other’s weight and taking in the moment.

When Joel mentioned his captain’s idea of taking a couple of boats out to Lincoln Lake with the team and their better halves for some bonding and relaxing before the season started and the hectic schedule pushed everyone in different directions, you had to admit you were unsure whether you should go. You had only just started dating Joel. But as soon as you made it out onto the water, you found yourself laughing with the other girls, as if you had known each other forever.

“I’m happy you decided to come,” you hear Joel mumble. And when you glance back, you can see the pure love pouring from his hazel irises. You let yourself lift your head up towards him, connecting your lips to his. You can smell the sunscreen on his skin, taste the rosé on his lips. Your fingers tangle into his sun-bleached curls, and in that moment, you realized that you never wanted to let him go. You pull away from him, your lips still gently upturned as you bring your eyes back to his.

“Of course I came. Where else would I be?”

a/n: if you've been here since the inception of this blog, you might recognize this story. however, I no longer write for the original player that starred in this fic. but I am very proud of this fic plus, I think this was the start of my trademark bittersweet endings, so i couldn't just let it disappear. so, here is another rewrite now starring my favorite crop top king who i miss terribly.

taglist: @laurenairay @fallinallincurls @ sorlos-world @svexhenthusiast

#nicole writes #joel edmundson fic #joel edmundson imagine #joel edmundson angst #los angeles kings fic #los angeles kings imagine #nhl fic #nhl imagine #hockey fic #hockey imagine

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barrenclan · 9 months ago

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I don't know if this song has been suggested yet but 15 Step by Radiohead for Rainhaze? Not just for the "one by one / it comes to us all / it's as soft as your pillow" (in reference to how he perceived death) but if you're willing to skew the optimism in the first verse, I see it as the line where he finally 'realizes' what Defiance is all about - when he finally sheds the Old Rainhaze for the new one by killing Asphodelpaw ("first you reel me out and then you cut the string"). Plus, there's a very on the nose reference that I see Ranger making to him in relation to finding out about Barrenclan ("you used to be alright, what happened? / did the cat get your tongue? / did your string come undone?") which is conveniently immediately before the Death lines.

And with recent developments (I had this ask planned for a while lol) now the "You used to be alright, what happened?" ...Ohhhh that hits. The difference between the mocking tone of Ranger the first time around, and then the second time the verse is repeated, it being cut off with "etcetera, etcetera..." which I either interpret as Rainhaze being unable to finish 'convincing' the rest of Barrenclan because he got interrupted then Tigerstar'd... Much to think about.

Anyway love this comic, been following it (and TDS!) since day 1, can't believe it's been so many years of it. At least one. You have a talent for storytelling!! I can't wait to see what you have planned for the future, big fan!

Haven't heard this one yet! But I'm always happy to get some Radiohead. I'm very flattered you've been enjoying the comic, and following my stories for so long.

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Ooh, I always like getting instrumental music recommendations! I've never seen LOST, but both my parents watched it while it was airing. PATFW is definitely a mystery story, although I like to think I got to my resolutions better than JJ did. Giacchino is a great scorer of course, I like how this song is sad, sweet, and a little ominous. Reminds me of Twin Peaks.

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Haha yes, it's definitely a popular suggestion for a popular song. But it is very pretty, and I do like the themes of burial and fighting to try and restrain someone who won't be restrained.

You can't keep them all caged They will fight and run away Mother, tell me so I say

Barren curtains that you're weaving Like the stories that you keep inside your head She can't keep them all safe They will die and be afraid

youtube

Oh... yeah. Anything with scary angel imagery fits very well for her, because I heavily associate Asphodelpaw with Laura Palmer.

Carry me in your teeth with tender jaws of sympathy (Arrow deep inside the meat Impossible for us to reach)

Shattered in a mist of crippled, angel silhouettes Lift the dirt, and cover me Lay at my side until I'm finally sleeping Until I'm finally sleeping

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I like it! Comorantpaw has a strong streak of self-hatred and lately, is very much feeling like he's permanently stained with evil because of his past. But he still wants to be there for Pinepaw, maybe thinking it's all he's good for.

Bitterness is thick like blood and cold as a wind sea breeze If you must drink of me, take of me what you please I am loathed to say it's the devil's taste I've been with the devil in the devil's resting place

Come up here to speak to me and hold your face to mine Any man can hold my gaze has done his job just fine You just sold your life away to be with me tonight Hold your head against my chest, I think you'll be just fine

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Classic Glass Animals! I think it captures the feeling of Issue 38 well.

Everything, waiting, shaking as it drops I tried for you and I, for too hard, for too long Gave it all and everything for more time, but I lost

… Ooh, I'm breaking down Whispers would deafen me now You don't make a sound Heartbreak was never so loud

youtube

Hahah! Yeah, this fits them well.

What did I do to deserve you? How did you find me? I was already halfway gone You were a bright light You were a fistfight, oh

Our love is older than the Great Wall Our love spins a gun around its finger Our love has found its way into our mouths before Cut our teeth until we swallow it whole

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Great Rainhaze song! It gets at that fatalistic, manic energy he has that's especially evident in Issue 37.

Losing my mind It never felt so good to be alive Crucify my name I never felt more famous than today, where I am no one To nothing

Lose your mind baby You'll never feel so good to be alive, I say again I say erase your name, sweet honey You'll never feel more famous than today, where you are no one (no one)

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I believe it was suggested a couple years ago with Hush Puppy and Thrasher, but not Rainhaze! It's an interesting angle to make it about him and Ranger.

One last kiss I love you like a broken pot One last kiss I love you like a pack of dogs One last kiss I need you like I need a gaping head wound

youtube

#ask #anon #music #rainhaze #pinepaw #slugpelt #asphodelpaw #cormorantpaw #ranger #hacksaw

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willowsnook · 2 years ago

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Hi! Can you do Josh Allen x Wife!reader

She goes to one of his games and he shows off by pulling a 40-0 win.

Thank you

Josh Allen x wife!reader (Big Win)

You loved Buffalo in the fall just before it got too cold. As you made your way Highmark Stadium, the sight of trees changing colors made you smile. Josh's sister Makenna was sitting in your passenger seat filling you in on her first summer post-grad.

"Am I going to get a niece or nephew any time soon?" She asked out of the blue. You whipped your head around and stared at her in disbelief.

"What?"

"I mean he's not getting any younger," she said nonchalantly.

"He's 27," you protested. "And I'm only 25." She shrugged.

"Just wondering." Comfortable silence filled the car as you pulled into the stadium. Yes, you wanted kids with Josh but why now? He was busy and away for games all the time and you didn't want to give up your career if you didn't have to. Your thoughts came to a stop as you pulled into your spot, jumping out of the car with Makenna. The two of you headed inside and towards a grand room where the team catered brunch for the families. You grabbed a plate and went through the line before finding a seat next to some other WAGs you were friends with.

"Are you guys traveling to London next month for the game?" One of them asked. The group was split with some nodding and others shaking their heads.

"I would rather die than wrangle my two kids on that long ass flight by myself," someone said and you laughed.

"What about you y/n? Are you going?"

"Yeah, I've never been to London. It seems like a good excuse to explore," you said smiling.

"I'm going too, what day is your flight?" Your friend Emily asked and you two started making plans on what to see while the boys were busy.

When it was a little closer to gametime and the boys were warming up you headed down to the field to say hi to Josh before you settled in.

"Hi Mrs. Allen," he said smiling as he came over to you.

"Hi, Mr. Allen," you replied laughing. You wrapped your arms around his waist and he kissed the top of your head. "Nervous?"

"Never baby," he said. You knew he was lying though, no matter how amazing was, he was always a little on edge before gametime.

"Let's make a little wager then hmm," you said with a glint in your eye. He looked down at you expectantly.

"Four touchdown passes and you can come home to me in just your jersey and nothing else." His face reddened as he blushed making you smile wider.

"What if I lose?" He mumbled. You brought your finger to your chin thinking.

"Hmmm, then I'll get to go on a shopping spree with your card in London," you replied and he rolled his eyes.

"Not like you weren't going to do that before," he said. He leaned down and gave you one last soft kiss before trotting off to join the rest of the guys.

You headed up to your seats and settled in. Kickoff came and went and by the time the second quarter rolled around Josh had already thrown three touchdown passes.

"This is crazy!" Makenna exclaimed. "He's on fire."

You blushed thinking about your earlier conversation and took another sip of your drink. The Bills were driving down and after Josh threw a 40 yard bomb to Stefon you knew it was only a matter of time.

Sure enough on the next play you watched as Beasley caught your husband's pass for another Bill TD. You cheered loudly with his sister and the rest of the fans in your section. Josh trotted over to the sidelines with the biggest grin you'd seen on his face all game. He found you in the stands and gave you a wink.

The final score ended up being 40-0 and your husband ended the day with 5 touchdowns and 400 passing yards. On the field you waited for him with Makenna who rushed to give him a big hug.

"You were amazing! 5 touchdowns, it's like you couldn't be stopped," she exclaimed. He looked over at you.

"I had some good motivation," he replied making you blush. You were in for a long night.

#nfl imagines #josh allen x reader #josh allen

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fitgirlfemdom · 1 year ago

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whats your favorite nine inch nails album

The Downward Spiral is not only my favorite NIN album, but my favorite music project of all time. I've listened to it cover-to-cover probably a couple dozen times over the past few years. The storytelling, the songwriting, the instrumentals, the backstory to each track, the fact Trent Reznor got sent to court for it, the music videos, everything--I love that album so much. I wish Hurt wasn't such a meme song because I honestly think it fully encapsulates the post-suicide regret that many people experience after surviving. My favorite tracks on it are Ruiner, Mr. Self Destruct, Hurt, and I Do Not Want This, but I can't skip any tracks. It's probably the only album I've listened to where EVERY song is a hit, even the more subdued/abstract tracts like A Warm Place or the title track.

With Teeth is an incredibly important album to me--it's what I listened to after my OD, and also leading up to my OD. I remember I was having a seizure at a get-together after doing something, and my friend asked what album I should put on to calm me down after, and I said groggily, "With Teeth, Nine Inch Nails." My final OD before I got sober, I listened to With Teeth in the hospital, and realized I couldn't keep putting my body, my family, and my friends through it, and I went stone-cold sober. That was back in 2022. I'm planning on getting the With Teeth logo text tattooed on my wrist sometime, because the title track would always play in my head whenever I was offered anything else.

I enjoy Pretty Hate Machine, but I haven't listened to it as frequently as TDS, mainly because it's more new-wave/synth heavy and that just isn't my vibe. Certain tracks, though, like Sin or Something I Can Never Have are still in my constant rotation. Other tracks, though, like Sanctified are unlistenable for me. PHM was my first CD for my car, and while my mom was teaching me how to drive, Sanctified came on--"If she says 'come inside' / I'll come inside for her"--and I could never listen to the song the same. Down In It was one of my first NIN tracks, so it has a special place in my heart, even if it's directly ripped from a Skinny Puppy song. The Fragile has some of Trent's best tracks, but it's such a bloated record with so many filler tracks, I wish it was split up into two projects (especially since some songs like Starfuckers make no sense on the project). I don't think I've ever listened to The Fragile all the way through, because I can only take Trent's ambient droning for so long.

The post WT stuff, like Year Zero and The Slip, haven't garnered that much of my attention. Of course, certain songs like Discipline are unavoidable, but I was much more interested in the lore and mystery of Year Zero than the actual music. Some songs on Hesitation Marks still hit, like All Time Low, Copy of A, and Came Back Haunted. All in all, though, I hold the pretty common belief that after Trent got clean, his focus drifted more to his family and writing scores for films, which I support a lot more than his current NIN projects. The Soul soundtrack is fantastic, and I'm glad Trent wasn't one of those 90s male idols that died young, and if that means I gotta listen to his saxophone solos on his new albums, then so be it.

Also, thank you for asking me a question outside of fetish-content. It's nice to know people see me as human.

#fitgirltxt #nin #trent reznor #nine inch nails

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courtney-deserved-better · 1 year ago

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seeing as it’s now been one year since the last chapter of slippery slopes was posted, i decided to make a big sappy post talking about what this fic has meant to me over the last two and a half years

i started writing slippery slopes after a bolt of inspiration struck me on this post. i’d tried writing my fair share of long fics prior, most of them remaining unpublished and all of them unfinished. i’m not quite sure what made me think i could write slippery slopes other than a strong desire to write the alenoah fic i wanted to read but that didn’t exist at the time. slippery slopes was the 30th fic posted in the alenoah tag, which didn’t have any finished long fics at the time. i think if you told 2021 pj that in two years there would be over 600 alenoah fics, many of them tdwt rewrites, their head would explode.

i honestly had no idea what i was jumping into when i started writing slippery slopes. looking back, i was very insecure about my writing. i’d actually forgotten about that until i was reading some posts i’d made while i was still writing it, where i wondered if i was going to be able to pull off the miscommunication plotline and the unplanned alecourtney friendship. almost every announcement of a chapter draft being completed included me saying i felt weird about it, or thought it was bad. i felt incredibly uncomfortable writing serious angst and when that started playing an important role in the fic at around chapter seven i feared that my writing was awful and other people would dislike it the way i had. i genuinely don’t think it hit me that slippery slopes was a popular fic until a few months before it became the most kudosed fic on ao3.

back then, i was able to understand why other people liked slippery slopes, but i couldn’t read it without cringing. i’m not sure when exactly the switch flipped—probably after i finally finished it and was able to distance myself from the writing process—but it became a fic that i’m incredibly proud of. i can reread it now and enjoy it without cringing in the slightest. i was able to see my writing as good, and well-crafted. i will always appreciate slippery slopes as a fic where i grew incredibly as a writer. i understand how to plan out long fics while still allowing for spontaneity. i can comfortably write angst. i feel strong in my choices for characterization and friendship even if it may seem unconventional. i have so much more confidence in my writing now, and a lot of that is thanks to you all.

other than desperately wanting an alenoah tdwt rewrite fic, a huge part of why i wrote slippery slopes was because i felt lonely in the td fandom and was hoping that this fic could connect me with more people out there. and boy oh boy it sure has. and not just the plethora of alenoah shippers—way more than i expected—but there were also people who didn’t ship alenoah, but still stayed for the story, and people who had never considered alenoah but gave my fic a chance and ended up shipping it anyway. when i didn’t believe my writing was good, there were many, many kind commenters who showed my fic love and encouraged me to keep going with it. and even now, there are commenters whose fresh excitement make me feel like all the time i spent on this fic was so, so worth it. and they all inspire me to keep writing.

i may be a good writer, but i don’t think i can ever fully express what everyone’s support has done for me. i still struggle to wrap my mind around the fact that there are dozens of drawings of my fic that you all have made! that’s crazy! i am so, so lucky to have such wonderful readers, and i hope you all know how incredibly grateful i am. slippery slopes would not exist without you. this was a joint effort. it’s amazing to me how a spontaneously started fic for a crackship ended up changing the total drama fandom landscape the way it did. who would’ve guessed that a simple whim to write an alenoah fic could become quite the slippery slope.

#slippery slopes #alenoah #my fic

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frangipanilove · 1 year ago

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Señor Dixon Goes To Spain?

Let’s indulge in some wild speculating, based exclusively on hypotheticals and wishful thinking.

Well well well! Daryl might be going to Spain! Excellent choice, it’s a beautiful country, I highly recommend, 10/10. And while it seems to have been officially confirmed just now, it’s not entirely surprising for people who’ve been paying attention.

We heard a reference to Spain already back in TWDDD 1x1 L’âme Perdue, when Isabel showed Daryl around the convent, and they came across a radio. Isabel mentioned that the last person she’d been in contact with was a Spaniard a few months ago:

When seemingly random stuff like this gets brought up, it’s normally fair to assume it’s symbolism or foreshadowing, and I felt pretty certain Spain would come up again sooner or later.

Then later, we meet Losang. He’s the leader of the Nest, and he first came in contact with the nuns and Laurent on his way back from a pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostela in Spain. "Compostela" refers to "the field of stars" under which the pilgrims traveled, a reference to the Milky Way.

That certainly tickles my TD brain, concidering how many astronomical references we have had around Beth, such as Sirius and Venus, satellites and eclipses to name a few.

Camino de Santiago to Santiago de Compostela is one of the world's most famous pilgrimages, and can be reached through a number of different routes. Isabel's convent was situated relatively close to the starting point of the French Way:

I have a whole theory in my drafts on potential references to El Camino de Santiago from years ago, which I might have to revisit now. Also, keep in mind that the working title of TWDDD was "Pilgrim":

But the most compelling thing about filming in Spain is an absolutely brilliant discovery made by @galadrieljones back when the final season of FTWD aired. We see Dwight, Morgan and Sherry share a scene, and a series of coordinates were given, supposedly to a P.A.D.R.E repeater station.

In reality, the coordinates corresponded with an area of the Atlantic Ocean near an archipelago called the Canary Islands. The islands, though situated off the coast of west Africa, are Spanish territory, and are famous (and slightly infamous, to be honest) for hordes of pale, vitamin D-deficient, sun-deprived north Europeans like myself as a holiday destination.

The part of it that’s particularly interesting for TD is that the etymology of the word Canary/Canarias shows it is derived from Latin “Canis”, meaning dog.

And as we know, that’s Sirius symbolism. Sirius means return/rebirth/resurrection. It refers to Sirius the Dog Star, who returns to the sky one morning right before dawn, after having been “just gone” for some time. I've written many posts on that, here's one.

There’s even a particular type of dog breed that’s associated with the Canary Islands, Presa Canario:

As a fun fact, in TWDDD season 1, Daryl’s original plan to get home involved getting on a boat that would eventually take him to Newfoundland, Canada. That’s also a dog reference, it refers to Newfoundland dogs:

As I’ve been saying, dog symbolism is Sirius symbolism, we learned that from 4x13 Alone. It means return/rebirth/resurrection. Daryl’s plans to return via Newfoundland fell through when he had to save Laurent from walkers, but the symbolism of it is still valid.

And as an extra fun fact, there’s even a location on Newfoundland, Canada, with the name Canary Islands…

…do with that what you will...

Another really interesting thing about the Canary Islands is that they provide an excellent starting point for transatlantic crossings. This is due to the consistent trade winds that blow from east to west, and sailors have taken advantage of this phenomenon for centuries.

Of course, we don’t know if Daryl will make it to the Canary Islands, and even if he doesn’t, I’m still exited about Spain, for the reasons laid out above. But the potential reference to the Canary Islands through the coordinates from FTWD is a super interesting clue, and it involves dog/Sirius symbolism, which makes me very happy.

Also, the coordinates from FTWD supposedly led to a repeater station, which is a radio reference. That means, the repeater station is a Sirius symbol both as a radio reference, as well as a dog reference, in that the coordinates in reality points to a stretch of ocean near the Canary Islands.

Whatever the coordinates were meant to signify, they sure as hell didn’t point to no repeater station in Georgia.

So yeah. Might be nothing, but could be something. The off-season is for speculating.

#team delusional #bethyl #daryl dixon #beth greene #team defiance #the walking dead #beth x daryl #twd #daryl x beth #ftwd #twddd #ddtboc

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jonquilyst · 1 year ago

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Day 28 - Finale

After weeks of battle, triumph, drama, and other teenager shenanigans, it is finally time to crown the winner of Total Drama Sims!!

Our finalists are Lilium Pond and Dahlia Grove. These two have outlasted everyone else and now, all of the eliminated contestants will be coming together to vote for a winner as a jury! Votes will be public, so you will know who votes for who.

Voting will go from the bottom of the leaderboard up (aka last place to the most recently eliminated), and will be confessional-style to make up for those who never had a confessional while on Total Drama Sims. So, without further ado, let's determine our winner!!

14th place - Elli Proudmoore

"Dahlia, we weren't on the same team, but you were pretty interesting and we talked for a little bit, so uh... yeah."

13th - Aubrey De Peyster

"Dahlia! After watching you from the sidelines, I really regret not getting to know you sooner. We have a lot in common! So, please accept my vote as your former teammate."

12th - Kenzie Ritchie

"Lilium! I really wish we could have been on the same team; we would could have been amazing allies!"

11th - Aster Ernst

"Lilium, since I met you I knew the stars were in your favor. I believe the universe has a divine plan for you! So for that, my vote is going to you."

10th - Cassie Fuller

"Dahlia, sweetie! I can't believe you made it this far! We might not have talked much, but teammates gotta stick together, so I'm voting for you!"

9th - Alexis Youngblood

"Dahlia, but only because you tried to save me from elimination. Wish it worked, but... thanks anyway."

8th - Reagan Felix

"Dahlia, when I heard that you come from a strict family and that you were only here because you got on the wrong bus, I was taken away because... well, you just kept going! Also, I relate to having a strict family, so... yeah, I'm voting for you because you definitely deserve to win."

7th - Anika Patel

"I underestimated you, Dahlia, and for what it's worth, I'm sorry. I never thought you would vote for me, but I guess that's what lead to my downfall. I really did feel that we had a connection, though, so I'm still gonna vote for you."

6th - Poppy Sparks

"Lilium! You deserve it, girl! You were one of the reasons why I had so much fun here. I'm so glad I was able to become your friend."

5th - Camden Reese

"Lilium... Yeah, I'm sorry for not liking you at first. Turns out you were pretty capable, not to mention super nice and friendly to everyone. Pretty admirable that your strategy was befriending literally everyone, rather than being a backstabber. I think it worked pretty well."

4th - Terrance Vellard

"Is it even a question? I'm voting for you, Lilium. I'm gonna always have your back, girly."

3rd - Logan West-Harper

"Dahlia, when I first came here I never thought I'd make friends with anyone here, especially since I was having trouble getting along with people at first, but after competing together I really feel like we became great friends. I really hope you win!"

~~~~~~

With a vote of 7-5, the winner of Total Drama Sims is...

DAHLIA GROVE!!!

CONGRATUALTIONS @ashubii !! Dahlia wins the competition and the prize that comes with it! As I said in the casting call for TDS, whoever's sim wins the competition will receive a prize personally from me, and that's you!! (We'll get in touch 💖)

There will be 1 final post to close out Total Drama Sims and celebrate our winner! Stay tuned...

@thebramblewood @comfyinn @mayzie-grobe @chaoticpixls @simsinfinitylt @softle0 @ashubii @void-critters @wastelandwhisperer @seyvia @akitasimblr @micrathene-w @prismaticpotentia @aniraklova

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the-milk-monarch · 2 years ago

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hii!! can you write a td scott x reader?? like them in a beach but it can be anything tbh, thank you!!! :)

☣︎ Hey anon! Thank you for the first ask of this blog! I wasn't sure what setting would work best so I wrote it for both 💯 You didn't specify the relationship status, so I imagine that in the first one he's only now realizing he has a crush on you and in general headcanons you're an established thing.

【 HANGING OUT AT THE BEACH / DOCK 】

☢︎ | gender-neutral reader ☢︎ | Total Drama ☢︎ | Scott

【 Scott at camp Wawanakwa 】

You had already spent some time at the camp Wawanakwa, fortunately not being voted off after the first challenge, which was surprising to you.

Relationships with other contestants didn't come easy to you, given your a bit lacking social skills, but you were already used to it and preferred to rather analyze the other contestants, trying to just survive by yourself. Of course you didn't shoot down any opportunity that arrived to team up with the others, though.

And that such opportunity was Scott, the ginger-haired male at the camp.

You saw right through his act, knowing he's probably gonna be trouble sooner or later, but you were smart enough to not give into his 'very thought-out plans'.

You decided to loosely stick with him throughout your time there, to have at least one "ally" on your side.

Of course you knew you shouldn't fully trust a boy who's got a confident and smug grin on his face most of the time, making him look slightly suspicious.

You weren't sure exactly how Scott saw you and what his plans towards you were, so you were keeping your distance from him for the first few encounters.

After you spent some time with him though, you quickly realized Scott isn't as smart as he thinks he is.

From what you theorized, Scott probably saw you as an easy target to "manipulate" and decided to hang out with you.

Most, if not all of the time you were able to see right through him and his 'perfect schemes', which made your dynamic a bit more lighthearted, at least from your side.

You didn't see him as a hard to beat rival, so that definitely chilled out your hesitance towards him.

With time though, you and Scott became a bit of actual friends.

Even though you spent your free time artificially with him at first, you came to warm up to Scott.

You weren't aware if it was because of the pity points he earned, or maybe actual fondness of his theatrics that amused you.

Either way, most of the team saw you and Scott as a duo.

It was a lazy day, one of those you enjoyed, as it was free from Chris McLean's exhausting challenges.

After you had your horrible morning breakfast - which Scott to your surprise enjoyed - you proposed to hang out at the beach, as it was a particularly hot day.

He looked at you, waiting for a bit before coming up with a slightly unsure response.

"The beach huh-?" He repeated your words, giving himself more time to come up with a valid excuse.

You focused your gaze on him, analyzing his seeming hesitance.

"Yeah, the beach." You confirmed. "I was thinking of at least dipping my feet in the water since it's so hot."

"Well, yeah, beach seems cool, but…" He tried to keep his tone usual and confident, but there was a slight hint of uncertainty as he scratched the back of his neck in a nonchalant manner.

You glanced at him one more time, finally coming up with a possible conclusion of his behavior.

"You're scared of Fang showing up, aren't you?" You asked, lightheartedly teasing him about the shark creature that seemed to have a very strong dislike towards the boy. You'd be lying if you weren't slightly afraid of the unnatural beast as well, but you didn't hold yourself back from friendly poking fun at him from time to time.

"What? No, of course not-" He adamantly tried to brush off your remark, scoffing and crossing his arms in an offended way. "This fat fish-stick has nothing on me, he just happened to find me in situations where I was destined to lose!"

You chuckled slightly, amused by his strong dismissal of his low chances of winning with the shark.

"It's fine- I'd also be scared if this unholy abomination had it out for me." You calmed him down with some sympathetic words.

He wasn't really used to people being understanding towards him, let alone not making fun of his apparent fear of Fang, so he took your words with a bit of suspicion, but he ultimately let go and sighed quietly to himself.

"Fine, let's go. I ain't afraid." He still had to add his two cents to the end of the conversation, gaining him some half-serious eye roll from you.

In the end, you both decided you're gonna head to the dock, taking off your shoes as you arrived at the end of it.

You felt a pleasant sensation of warm water that's been exposed to the sun for some time hitting your feet as you dipped them.

You were pretty relaxed and content spending your free time like that, next to the person you spent most of your time with at the camp.

Scott also seemed to chill out one he established the coast is clear from any carnivores that'd threaten his free time in-between the dangerous challenges.

He finally exhaled contently, looking around the slightly trashed beach from the dock he was sitting on.

He also appreciated the time spent with you. He almost took it for granted, given how much time you were spending in each other's company.

You were one of the people who weren't overly critical of his schemes, as you much rather enjoyed the entertaining outcomes of his ambitious yet more often than not failed plans.

You also weren't plainly making fun of him when he failed, as you had developed some level of liking to the boy and you were curious what other 'plans' he had in store to win.

He told himself that he's gonna use anyone he has to to win the game, although when it came to you and your demeanor towards him, he hesitated a little on what plans he put you in.

Most of your involvement in his plans was like "Okay, so I need someone to partner up during the challenge… Y/N! They're the most fit contestant to help me this time!" Even if you weren't.

"Y/N, they're gonna surely think it's a great idea!" Even if it was destined to fail sooner or later.

Even if he planned to 'use you' in any dangerous challenge, he subconsciously treated you both as a legit team rather than a person underneath him.

You still were the only person whom he listened to for the advice about his schemes. It's not like his schemes were bad by any means, but some opinion once in a while is helpful, right?

Your gaze wandered around the - arguably - pretty sight of the island, until it landed on the freckles of the boy sitting beside you. They appeared more visibly due to the sun.

You stared at them a little, thinking the freckles look quite adorable on a farmboy who shows such a tough exterior. It added some depth to him, or at least you thought.

Unfortunately your thoughts about them were disturbed once he caught your gaze.

"What? Something on my face?" He raised his eyebrow in confusion, prepared to have probably some dirt from the breakfast on his face pointed out to him.

"Um, yeah, actually-" You spoke casually, trying to not make the situation awkward from randomly staring at him. "Your freckles."

He looked a bit stunned for a second there, trying to make sense of your response.

"What about them??" He asked looking intently into your eyes with some skepticism, awaiting for your further elaboration.

"Nothing, I guess- They just look a bit adorable in pair with your 'tough man' persona." You finally voiced your thoughts, smiling in a lighthearted and slightly playful way, not wanting to make him feel like you're making fun of him but also keeping cool in case he'd think of your comment as weird.

Scott got quiet for a second, processing your words. There was a visible surprise in his eyes as the sentence left your mouth.

Did he just get a compliment? About his freckles and his toughness? You officially flattered him!

He started to jumble his words a little as he once again involuntarily raised his arm to scratch the back of his neck, releasing some tension from his body.

"Well, uh-" His lips formed a smug yet a bit coy grin as he avoided your gaze for a second, his cheeks adopting a slightly pink tinge to them.

"What can I say-" He says, but then his train of thought seems to disappear. He really doesn't know what to say, which you notice and chuckle softly, endeared by leaving him speechless.

"It's all natural." He finally comes up with a response, puffing up his chest a little as he striked a nonchalant and smug pose, looking at his nails.

You grinned at him in a friendly manner, slightly charmed by his efforts to cover up how it got to him a little.

He seemed to get a bit thrown off his cool once he noticed you smiling at him warmly, and he felt the pressure to say something back to you in a similar manner.

"And, you, too-" Words spilled out of his mouth before he even had the proper chance to think them over. "I mean- My freckles. No- Your face. There's nothing bad on your face-"

You stared at him curiously and a bit amused at his attempts of forming a sentence, which only filled him with more distraction while he tried to voice his thoughts.

"So, in general, you're saying I'm adorable?" You decided to save him from the embarrassment by concluding what he has to say, but also putting him in even more compromising situation by putting it bluntly.

"Yes." He proudly nodded his head once he finally didn't have to stumble over his words and his thoughts were conveyed, but then he quickly stopped as he realized it might have been too forward coming from him. "I mean-"

You felt the corners of your lips curve in a flattered and amused smile as you heard him compliment you, even if slightly indirectly.

[Scott at the confessional]

"Well, I complimented them- That's just gonna make them like me more, right? I mean, they complimented me first, that must mean they at least like me to some degree!" He explained what happened as he fiddled with his hands in an analytical manner while speaking.

"That just makes it easier to manipulate them in any case!" He boasted slightly about his genius idea, although his tone of voice changed at the last words. He took a moment and continued to speak with slight hesitance and anxiety in his eyes which he tried to hide.

"But- Were they serious?? If my freckles are adorable, does that mean they think I'M adorable??" That question left him with a slightly wide-eyed realization, having to process his sudden, unimportant until now feelings about you, showing up and hitting him like a train.

(oh god this came out long and not even about the beach but the dock asfjskj)

【 Scott in general 】

(You both didn't compete on Total Drama, just some casual relationship stuff.)

Scott has been your boyfriend for a few weeks now.

He wasn't even quite sure how he happened to land upon you, let alone charm you with his wit and good looks.

He probably didn't go outside much, looking at his a bit closed off farm life and only started to recently get out to the real world.

He was very determined about his first relationship, treating it very seriously and focused on being the best boyfriend ever. You were the first person who reciprocated his feelings after all, so he treated you like royalty - to his abilities.

You thought his dedication to the relationship was sweet, and that's a big part of what you liked in him.

Because of his dorky personality you also felt quite comfy to let yourself loose and not be as anxious as you were with other people. You knew he wouldn't make fun of you, and would rather beat someone up for doing so.

And so, you on one of your hang-outs you proposed a trip to the beach.

Scott stopped for a moment, his eyes looking you up and down until he finally spoke in a slightly coy but interested tone.

"Trip to the beach, huh?" He smirked slightly, not being able to hide his excitement at the idea, but also slight anxiety before such an "achievement" in the relationship.

You rolled your eyes half-seriously as you smiled with amusement. You deducted why Scott seemed to be so happy about the proposition, which filled you with slight flattery.

"Yeah, sure, I'm up." Scott chimed in quickly. Of course he was very respectful of you, but he couldn't say he wasn't at least a bit interested in how you look like with more skin exposed to the pretty sun at the beach. "When do you wanna go?"

You shrug. "We can even go right now if you want." You suggested, not having any plans this particular day.

Scott grinned even more enthusiastically and muttered a quiet "yes!" when he thought you weren't listening.

You arrived at some secluded part of the beach, not wanting unnecessary eyes on both of you, distracting you from enjoying your day.

As you set up a little cozy corner in the sand with a big towel/blanket, Scott got up to get rid of his pants which hid a pair of red swim trunks underneath.

He was (respectfully) awaiting for you to do the grand reveal of your swimsuit as well.

You didn't leave him waiting for long as you casually began to take off your clothes.

Scott didn't mean to stare, but it was obvious he really took to heart that you trusted him to the point of spending a day at the beach with him, even if your relationship was still "fresh".

You were finally ready to dive into the water. You looked at Scott who was grinning while staring at you, but not in a creepy way. He looked more like a love-sick puppy with how he looked at you whole.

It flattered you. You weren't used to receiving such attention and the fact that it was from the boy you loved only made it more special.

"Nice swim-trunks." You teased slightly at you took a look at the intensely fiery red piece of clothing.

"I know, right?" He grinned, proud at the compliment you gave him. You really weren't sure whether he was aware of how 'fashionable' his choice of swimming trunks was, but it only made him more charming.

He then took a look at you, intending to say something nice back to you, but he hesitated a little, unsure of how to do it correctly.

"Am I allowed to say how well you look as well, or will it be shallow because you're in a swimsuit right now?" He stopped himself to think out loud, showing a thoughtful expression on his face, as if it was a really important question.

You chuckled softly, appreciating how he was still trying to be mindful even when complimenting you.

"I'll take it as a compliment nonetheless." You poked him in the nose playfully to assure him it's not a big deal, to which he grinned and his cheeks turned a bit red, matching his swim trunks.

You both spent a nice day at the beach, fooling around in the water and eating some snacks after, chilling on the blanket and watching the sunset.

(ok this one was kinda shitty n corny, i haven't been to the beach in like 3 years lmfao)

#total drama #total drama x reader #x reader #headcanon #imagine #request #ask #gn reader #gender neutral reader #scott #td scott #total drama all-stars #total drama revenge of the island #scott x reader #total drama scott x reader

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